Candles By Victoria Story Writing Contest 3rd Runner up
Written By: Lynn Bushey


Clovis Jasmine was known as the Blueberry Cobbler. His shop bordered a large Blueberry Patch and he served his customers Blueberry Cheesecake with a yummy Graham Cracker Crust. Clove was a whiz with Mahogany soles. He made wonderful party shoes of Sandalwood with Vanilla Velvet uppers. He could handle Leather and Black Velvet with considerable skill. His mastery of Sandalwood & Leather was legendary. But his wife couldn’t handle his fondness for Raisin Rum and other libations. He was mean when he drank hard Mulberry Cider. He was even meaner when he downed an Apple Martini. Worst of all were the scenes after he drank his own blend of Monkey Juice: Irish Cream liquor, Amaretto, Cabernet, and Apple Jack N Peel from an orange. Their house was not Home Sweet Home.

Honeysuckle Jasmine had to Harvest those berries and make each and every Cheesecake. She had Cosmopolitan aspirations and she thought Clove was just a Country Bumpkin and she was not Happy.

One day she confided in Angelina over Eggnog and Caramelized Pralines. They had been Best Friends since grade school. “I have a Crush on My Handyman,” she said. “Elvis is Very Sexy and I dream of a Sweet Escape to a Divine Paradise and Rapture in the Rain. Elvis is hot stuff and I know we would find Tropical Bliss.”

Angelina knew Clove was far from a Heavenly Type. She’d seen him skinny dipping Butt Naked. His Jelly Donut belly and stooped White Shoulders were not appealing. She also found the handyman Very Irresistible. She tried to Soothe her friend Honeysuckle. “I think I can help with your Obsession, she said. “And maybe my own,” she thought.

Honeysuckle had harbored dreams of a career on stage. She was an accomplished ventriloquist and had worked hard on her juggling act. Early on, she practiced with a Georgia Peach, a Macintosh Apple, and a jar of Strawberry Jam. Then she learned to juggle a large Cantaloupe, a Honeydew Melon, and a three pound can of Frenchville Coffee. Honeysuckle had found hours of Relaxation in juggling fruits and vegetables.

Honeysuckle had developed a great deal of strength, and Angelina thought they could use it to their advantage. She grabbed a large Caribbean Coconut, an even larger Coconut from Paradise Bay, and a giant very Exotic Coconut from Neptune’s Oasis. (The two had begun coconut collecting on a trip to Palm Island after one Tangerine Mimosa too many.)

“Juggle,” ordered Angelina. Puzzled, Honeysuckle tried. It was not easy. A rolling coconut smashed into her Amish Quilt and destroyed it. Another uprooted her Lilac bush. And her prized Pineapple Punch bowl was smashed too badly to salvage.

Angelina practiced too, for she had been her friend’s partner when they tried out for the eighth grade talent show. At last, Angelina seemed satisfied. They ate Orange Chiffon Cake and each sipped a Caramel Latte while the devious Angelina explained.

The next afternoon, while Clove was working in his shop, Honeysuckle and Angelina dropped by to show him their new act. “We will make a fortune on TV,” said Honeysuckle. Clove kept working while the coconuts swirled through the air. “Don’t destroy those Vanilla Lace ballet slippers” he ordered.

Honeysuckle didn’t. Instead, while two of the heavy orbs circled above her head, she threw the third at Clove’s head. He dropped to the ground, having breathed his last. “Stress Relief at its best,” said Honeysuckle, while Angelina just smiled.

They later explained the “accident” to dubious detectives. “Of course that’s how it happened,” said Angelina. She walked toward the cops with a coconut as if to demonstrate, apparently tripped on a Cinnamon Stick, and let the hairy brown fruit fly. It killed Honeysuckle instantly.

The cops seemed convinced. The double funeral was lovely. English Ivy and Lily of the Valley adorned the church. The ladies auxiliary provided Lemon Pound Cake and Sugar Cookies after the service.

Angelina and Elvis wept, side by side.

Angelina had known that the hunky handyman had a crush on Honeysuckle. Now she sniffed his Masculine Musk and the Spearmint gum he always chewed, Angelina had her own Hawaiian Dream of Sex on the Beach with Elvis.

Now she could Sweet Talk him into a little Plumeria Passion without any interference from Honeysuckle.

The End

Written By: Lynn Bushey

Winner of a $15.00 gift certificate from Candles By Victoria

Click here to read our 4th runner up.

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